Special Death
by Caitlynnn
Summary: Violet had been carrying it around for eight months. It was almost there until one night she bleeds and it dies. These were the kids that broke themselves. An AU violate fic. ONESHOT


**An AU fic. Violet is still alive and rubber man does not exist. If it doesn't make sense sorry… **

**I got the idea of this story after Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult. I apologize in advance to grammar mistakes. I am not the best editor. Haha. **

**I don't own American Horror Story. **

**I. **

The pain never stopped. The constant kick was getting to a point where it was unbearable. She kept getting these weird hot flashes, which later made her woozy. Violet had sighed as she sat down on the couch, resting her feet on the coffee table, putting her hands on her stomach.

"Would you like me to make you some tea, dear?" Moira had smiled tenderly at her, and Violet nodded. She hated just sitting there, feeling like she could do nothing. So she pushed herself up, getting a little wobbly. But so far so good; slowly she made her way to the kitchen, leaning on the door post, feeling rather exhausted.

"Is it supposed to hurt this much?" She was mostly asking herself, because she knew her answer. She was quietly praising her mother. Vivien was really a strong mother. She was HER mother after all. Violet wasn't necessarily a cakewalk.

"Yes." Moira smiled a little, putting water in the kettle.

"Hey," Tate walked in the kitchen, putting an arm around Violet. "You should be sitting." He said, and then continued, "How are you feeling?" He asked, but didn't look at her.

"Like shit. How are you?" She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he rubbed her arm, pulling her up a bit to give her some more balance.

Tate shrugged, "It doesn't matter how I feel." And he let go, getting into the cabinets.

"What type of tea do you want?" He opened it up and said again, "We have green tea, green tea…. Or green tea." He laughed a little and Violet rolled her eyes.

"You pick." She said, and Tate nodded, getting the package out and putting it on the counter. Moira was observing Tate and Violet, wandering what it felt like to be in a relationship where both sides worked together, equally caring for each other. She'd never been in one.

The kettle was starting to whistle and Moira jumped slightly, but she made her way to the kettle, turning off the stove and getting a cup out.

"Would you like honey or sugar?" She asked. Violet was quiet for a second and replied, "Honey."

Moira nodded, "Tate get me the honey please."

He grabbed it from the cabinet and handed it to her.

"My mom always put honey and lemon in my tea. It always helped me feel better when I was sick." She smiled as she cut up some lemon squeezing some in.

It was this small moment that really stuck out to Violet. The moments where you can just be… not everything is happy or sad, you are just there experiencing it. It was rare in this house that it happened. But when it did happen it was beautiful.

"Here you go dear," Moira handed her the cup. It was hot, but Violet held it in her hands because she was cold.

"I'll let you be." Moira finally said, putting a hand on Tate's shoulder, and then patted Violet's hand.

Tate didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't help but stare at her stomach. He wasn't sure how things happened the way they did. It sort of freaked him out the whole having a baby thing. He didn't know what to think of it. He was… scared. He was a terrible person in general. And having a son or daughter? Wonder if the son or daughter is exactly like him? He already couldn't live with himself but having another one of him or her? How the fuck was he supposed to love it?

He slowly made his way over to Violet, lifting up her shirt a little and putting a hand on her stomach. He didn't look in Violet's eyes. He would break if he did. They say that the eyes are the windows to your soul. And Violet's soul was sad. She didn't deserve this.

"Yes, that's my stomach." She said lightly, pulling her shirt down. He finally did look up at her.

"I'm um, going upstairs." He said abruptly, dropping his hand.

**II. **

Tate lay down on the bed, looking at the wooden floor. His breathing was out of control. He needed to calm down. So he started to count the wooden floorboards.

"One, two, three, four, fuck." He said as he closed his eyes. He shook his head as he got up and got Violets ipod from the dock. He looked at it for a second and then put the ear buds in. He had no idea how to work this thing. He pressed the middle button and it came to life. He laughed at himself because this was ridiculous.

He figured out how to scroll and he looked at her music selection and picked a band that he liked: Bright Eyes. They were one of the first bands that he found in 1994. Conor Oberst was thirteen when he recorded his first songs on the demo. He played it and he was entranced. There was something about music, which really calmed him down. He got lost in his own little world.

"Tate," Violet moved the hair out of his eyes and took the ipod ear buds from his ears. She then put the ipod back on her dresser. He was asleep and Violet just looked at her boyfriend. Asleep. She wondered how many days he went without sleep these past few months.

The first month was terrible, Violet was always throwing up and everyone in the murder house was pissing her off, even Tate when all he was trying to do was help. But everyone wanted this baby. She wasn't sure what it was with everyone wanting a baby so bad. They piss and shit everywhere. That was Violet's knowledge on them at least.

She had then got on the bed, and lay next to him. Tate woke up for a second; he noticed her and he nodded, wrapping his arms around her and her stomach. His hands were cold so she shivered and he grabbed the covers and put it over her. He was still out of it, but when it came to Violet his actions became second nature.

**III. **

In the middle of the night, Violet felt wet. So she woke up suddenly and was surrounded by… blood. She looked and Tate was already standing up looking at the sheets. She wasn't sure what was going on if this was a dream or not. "Tate?" She said her voice unsteady and then she knew what happened.

"Mom." She yelled and she felt a sob erupt through her. Ben was the first one to come into her room and he saw the blood and his first reaction was to punch Tate and Tate fell back.

"You son of a bitch!" Ben yelled and Tate got up and he wanted to laugh at what Ben said. His mom was a bitch. But he couldn't even react to it. He couldn't react to anything. Ben hit him again and Violet yelled for her dad to stop. "You hurt her!" And he hit him again.

"What is going on?" Vivien walked in. "Oh my God, Violet." She put a hand to her mouth and then threw up in the corner.

"Mom. What's wrong with me?" Violet was soaking in her own blood and Tate and Ben stopped fighting each rushing toward her side.

"Someone get Charles."

**IV. **

"I want to see it." Violet had said to Charles who nodded as he got the towel. He had taken the baby in the bathroom and cleaned up the blood off of it and brought it to Violet. It was just so small, so lifeless….

Violet had taken it and held it delicately. The baby was already broken, already dead. She didn't have to be afraid to hurt it because… it was already gone. This came from her. That much she had to remind herself. The baby was hers and she was a fuck up. She messed up. If she didn't mess up the baby wouldn't be dead but it was dead and it would never come back.

Tate wasn't even in the room. He couldn't handle it. After Ben beat the crap out of him he had run out of the room and he threw everything he touched. He had messed up the living room and Chad had a fit and wondered just what the fuck he was doing. But he couldn't explain, couldn't tell him that the baby was dead. He couldn't even speak. The only thing Tate could do was act on his impulse. Because he was the father, and he would never be able to forgive him, and its not like he tried to anyway. He had done too much bad shit…

His hands were bleeding and that kept on making him even madder. He made Violet bleed. He hurt Violet and that was unacceptable for him. He couldn't even deal with hurting Violet. That was his boundary line. The one thing he promised himself was to never hurt Violet again and he did. He couldn't even runaway from it. He couldn't escape it because once you're in this house you can't fucking leave. And he wanted to leave. He never wanted to show his face in this house again.

Violet was still in the bed, holding the baby and she stared down at it. She was only a month away. She was only one month away… and it would have been healthy. It could have lived. It could have been free and been whatever she wanted to be. That's what the sex was. A girl. She had no idea what she was going to name her. But she really loved the baby regardless of all the bitching she did.

They say that time passes…. And all wounds heal.

But what happens when you're stuck right in the middle?

**V. **

Violet had walked around the house like a zombie. Cleaning up Tate's mess. Cleaning up the baby's mess. Cleaning up her room, doing the laundry. Her mom tried to stop her and talk to her, the same with her dad. Everyone was so worried for Violet. Like at any moment she would explode. But she didn't want their attention. She didn't want anyone's attention.

She didn't have the heart to bury her baby yet. So she kept in the cradle that they set up for her a month ago. The baby's room was all ready. Violet imagined the baby sleeping the whole time. Sleeping like Violet did when she was depressed. But her nightmares were reality and too bad she couldn't escape from them. She couldn't even walk into the baby's room anymore. She didn't want to. It had only been a couple days since it happened, but she couldn't bring herself to go in there. She often found herself lying down in the basement. No one bugged her there.

Tate had made himself invisible to her. Normally he would be there for her. He WANTED to be there for her, but she sort of brushed him off everytime he got the guts to help her, or lend a hand. Moira had pulled him aside and told him that she just needed to be alone.

So this is what happens, he had thought. Violet closes herself off from him. And at first he didn't mind it. But he had grown a dependency on her. Because she was his light, the only light he had ever known. And when he wasn't with her or around her his dark thoughts took over his mind and he didn't know what to think or how to act. He was always by himself all his life. And for a while that's how he viewed things. If you wanted something you do it alone. But after Violet his perspective on life changed… because it's okay to have someone there. It's okay to NOT do things alone. He realized that being loved by someone… and once that someone closes you off… you realize that you miss them.

No, their relationship wasn't perfect. Not one bit. They both clashed heads but isn't that what supposed to happen in love? Aren't you supposed to disagree with the one you love? Because if you knew everything about the other, what's the point? Keeping things a mystery was good until its not…

Tate had walked into the baby room and he closed the door slowly and as quietly as he could. He didn't want people to know he was in here. Especially Ben.

He slowly had walked up to the crib and the baby was just lying there wrapped and swaddled. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he picked it up and held it in his arms. He wasn't sure how exactly to hold her, but he did. He felt like he was going to break it but it was already broken. He just wanted to know what it felt like to hold your newborn. He never imagines himself as a dad, but he wanted to know what it was like. He had seen this a million times on the television when he bothered to watch and they all seemed so happy. But this? This was a tragedy. Babies aren't supposed to die but they do. And it just so happens that it happened to them….

Tate was sure of this one thing; he was born with tragedy in his blood. Once he touched someone this tragedy was passed onto them. And here in that moment he held his dead baby. And it WAS his. He had forever broken everyone he ever loved. And he did love the baby. Even though they never even met, and the baby never laid her eyes on her father. Nor would Tate ever get to see what the eye color of his baby would be. And the sad thing was, neither would Violet. And Violet was the mother.

Its always a one sided thing he felt like. When something like this happens, you feel bad for the mother. Obviously Tate didn't deliver the dead baby, and he was glad that he didn't see it when Violet delivered it because he already lost it when he woke up in the sheets of blood. But he had feelings too. It happened to him, too. He felt things so much, regardless of all the bad things he's done. He's human and he felt things too deeply. And even if he didn't do anything he brought the blame all back on him.

But really no one was to blame in this situation. Things happen and we often don't know why.

Tate had rocked it a little and swayed back in forth not really sure what he was doing. But he saw a small little wet spot on the baby's cheek and he was…. Crying. Holding your first-born should be happy. You should be happy and he wasn't happy. He wasn't happy at all.

"I fuck everything up." He whispered to himself. Why couldn't he do anything right? What the hell was his problem?

"You couldn't have just… waited a month?" He asked it, knowing it wouldn't reply back to him. "You would have been ready." He shook his head.

"Cute." Chad said as he leaned against the doorframe. "Father like son. Dead." He said this seriously, not looking at Tate but at the baby. Tate didn't say anything. "What do you want?" Tate finally said, looking at the baby, feeling the need to protect it.

"Your girl is planning to kill herself you know. Not that she isn't already dead." He said as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Tate had looked at the baby and he started to cry again. He couldn't keep it in any longer as he put it back and ran towards the basement. He knew she was here because he often heard her cry down there. No one dared to bother her.

He found her on the floor, curled up on her side, clutching a bottle of sleeping pills. The bottle wasn't opened yet, but Tate knew what she was going to try and do. He went over to her. And just stood there in front of her. She noticed that he was there and she buried herself in her arms.

"What do you want?" She asked him, her voice was hoarse.

"I came to see you." He tugged at the bottom of his sleeves, trying to hide his hands like he was exposed. He wasn't sure why, but he felt sort of safe doing so.

"I don't want to see you." She said. And its not that she was particularly mad at him because she wasn't. She was mad at herself. Mad that she wasn't strong enough, or good enough.

"I want to see you." He said to her, going closer and he squatted right in front of her. "See if you're okay." He didn't look at her, he couldn't.

Violet laughed. "I'm not okay." That much was obvious and Tate knew it, but he wanted her to know that he cared. All he wanted to do was protect her. And even if it meant protecting her from herself…

"Violet? I want you to be okay. And I want you to know that I care." He looked at her in the eyes now, and she didn't say anything to him. She wasn't bitter towards him, but just looking at him made her cry. That's all she'd been doing lately was cry. Because she felt so lousy and she felt so shitty towards herself. She really was such a fuck up. She couldn't do shit.

She started to sob, and that broke Tate's heart. He always felt like shit when Violet cried.

There are just some people when you see them cry it's contagious. And it hurts especially if the person that is crying is someone you love. Because all you want to do is for them to stop crying just so you know that they're alright. But crying is a good thing. You feel okay after, like things are possible.

"I can't do this anymore." She said and she got into a sitting position holding herself together, and Tate grabbed her arms and made herself release. He wanted her to fall apart so she could get it over with. He really meant well, but his plans backfired on him. Violet was shaking so bad that she had fallen. It was like she went limp and Tate tried to grab her before she hit the basement floor. She had hit her head and she cried from that too.

Tate was angry with himself and he couldn't hold it in any longer either.

He picked Violet up and he held her and she tried to untangle herself but she couldn't anymore. She went limp in his arms, and he kept his grasp around her strong.

"I'm so sorry Violet." He finally said as he patted her hair, and kissed her forehead and the side of her head multiple times. That's all he could really do. They both were crying on the floor, and people would roll their eyes at them if they saw. But if they haven't lived through it they wouldn't know. They were so young. Their emotions are everywhere. Losing something so small and delicate it's hard. How do you handle it? That's the beauty about human emotions and humans in general. You handle things differently.

"I held it." Tate had said and that made him cry more. "It was so small." He said and Violet nodded into his shoulder.

"I wasn't strong enough." She couldn't breathe. Fuck, she was going through hysterics and that freaked Tate out because they bounced off each other. They were alike in some ways and they both deeply cared about each other. Tate wanted her to be happy and Violet wanted Tate to be safe. They both needed each other even if they didn't want to admit it.

"Yes you were." He told her, rubbing her back. The shoulder of Tate's shirt was wet from Violet's tears.

There was too much going on, more than they could handle. Things wouldn't go back to normal for a while. And they won't be okay, or the same for a long time if ever. But when they have each other, they have everything…

"You're just broken, that's all." He felt like it was his entire fault, but Violet felt the same way about herself. She didn't want the baby in the beginning, but she didn't want to get rid of it…. It's like that one saying, you don't know what you got until its gone.

Violet and Tate just held on to each other. That's all you really can do. Because a single touch can mean everything to one person. Even if it doesn't last long. At least you know that someone is there… and someone cares.

You have to let it go, Violet had though to herself and she moved in a position that allowed her to listen to Tate's heart. A heart was still beating. She couldn't feel hers but it was there. But letting go means forever…. She didn't want to think about it. She tried to calm her breathing by listening to his heartbeat. Tate just held her. That's all he could really do…

But these were the kids that broke themselves…

**Um. **

**Review? Ha. **


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